Kaspersky’s annoying “screeching pig” sound



April 30th, 2008

I don't personally use Kaspersky AV, but some of the systems here do run it. Kaspersky makes a pretty good desktop AV product, but there's one aspect of the program that I really, REALLY hate. That's the screeching pig noise that the software makes when a threat is detected. I wouldn't mind so much if the sound only played when it detected malware (because it wouldn't go off that often), but it's also triggered by phishing emails and the like, and it's a sound that I'm hearing with increasing regularity.

Want to sample this sound for yourself? Here's the sound. I warn you though, it's unpleasant!

Kaspersky_logoNow, you might be thinking that I'm ranting over nothing here and that it's just a matter of checking a box to get rid of this awful racket. Oh no, it's not that easy. If it were, this sound would have been history a long time ago. After some Googling I found this on Kaspersky's own support forum:

1) going into settings-service,
2) untick "enable self defense",
3) go to C:\Program Files\Kaspersky Lab\Your Kaspersky product here\Skin\sounds\
4) replace infected.wav sound with sound of your choice.
5) re enable self defense.

Um, sorry, but why am I going to all this hassle over a stupid sound? What's the matter with offering a checkbox to turn the sound off, or add it to the Windows sounds scheme? And why add unnecessary steps to the installation and admin process? I just don't get it. A solution like this is of no use to the average user (and under Vista you have the added hassle of having to content with countless UAC prompts).

Having read through the thread on the Kaspersky support forum it is clear to me that the moderators are quite attached to this noise. I'm not. I'm pretty sure that each time it goes off that my life has been shortened by it. I can do without that.

After a little more digging around we did find a whole raft of event notification settings, but there's little help to tell me which one (or ones) are linked to the pig noise. Just to be safe I think I'll disable all the sounds on all systems that have Kaspersky running. That said, binning the software is starting to feel like the simplest option.

Kasp7eventnotifset

I'm not draconian, but my patience with this sound is wearing thin. Very thin! If Kaspersky doesn't come to its senses over this issue by the time our current license expires then Kaspersky AV will join Norton AntiVirus and BitDefender in the digital dumpster. Either Kaspersky wants to sell a security product, or it wants to mess around with moronic noises. With a free solution you get what you pay for and this kind of thing might be acceptable, but this is a commercial solution, and I don't like what I'm paying for any more. Time for Kaspersky to make a choice.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 30th, 2008 at 13:07 and is filed under Stay Secure. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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